Task 3.01: Gossip, **All SchruteBucks Now Awarded** Options

[Tullie]

I wouldn't mind the waiting if at least OLC would give us the courtesy of showing up and telling us their new plans. This is just ridiculous.

[justagrunt]

I really would like to know when I am going to be announced as the wiener...I mean winner.

brown730's the wiener. ;P

[garbageKitten]

I have 50 Task SB's & I dont know where they came from Im still gathering my courage to play.
I dont click very fast ~~ Fluffy paws you know!

[tarden]

[Molvane]

Perhaps this needs a hard targeted direct message campaign to get results.

[butrcup74]

Still no winners announced? Really? Really?

Really?!?

[Trevor_H]

.........

[breezmommy07]

just got an email about winners being announced... and 150 sbs awarded to me
i'm guessing angela's story won??

[susanab]

i also got a msg that i recd bonus shrute buck for this task--but it's not showing up...

[Gena]

This is the email I got:

"Dear Employee,

You've just earned bonus Sb for your enthusiatic and colorful gossips! We appreciate all that you do to make Dunder Mifflin Infinity a more productive and fun work place. For details on who was awarded what for this task, check our special announcement on the Task 3.01 thread (http://boards.dundermifflininfinity.com/index.php?showtopic=36604). Keep up the good work!

Sincerely,
Human Resources
DMI"

[leftnwrite08]

Got the same email, and it looks like 200 extra Shrutebucks (the mallard task was 140, right? I now have 340 for the week)!

I posted in Stanley's story; maybe the "winning story" was a compilation of sentences from different stories??

[tarden]

Oscar story for me and 200 $B

[leftnwrite08]

i also got a msg that i recd bonus shrute buck for this task--but it's not showing up...

susanab, did you do this week's task yet? because your profile shows you have 300 task SBs for this week, so if you DIDN'T do it, looks like you're the winner; if you did, well, your bonus points have shown up now!

[DMIHumanResource...]

All SchruteBucks have now been awarded for this task. Congratulations to fatburgher who is the Company Winner for this task, for his Andy submission:

"This is a big misunderstanding, Andy isn't gay....he's Gaye. Is is the illegitimate son of Marvin Gaye's younger brother Frankie. This easily explains his dapper yet dated wardrobe and his arm's length distance to a viable singing career."

The best overall story goes to everyone who submitted to Angela before the deadline. Their story went on most coherently and continually for several pages, and was hilarious.

Because we saw so many outstanding entries across all gossip stories, we decided to also award Sb $200 to these individual entries:


Stanley

leftnwrite08: It all started as long walks beneath the pale moon on the tredmill, but then moved on to leisurely hikes on the stairmaster, and finally the joyous trysts on the eliptical, and Stanley finally realized his heart was racing with the new-found youthful vigor of love ... or over-exertion.


Pam

LPOGP: I honestly doubt that Pam was engaged to Roy for so long and not have slept with him. I think you are all wrong. I overheard Oscar on the phone with his boyfriend Gill and they were talking about getting a surrogate, this was four months ago! The timing totally adds up! Then again Erin told me that Pam has been getting alot of calls from a rather young Art student from New York. Perhaps she had a fling that she couldn't let go. One thing is for sure, that is no baby-tuna in her stomach!

SweetGracie: Well, I DID hear that Pam might be pregnant from Creed who says it's true because Pam's breasts are bigger (only he would notice something like that), Kelly agreed with him because she noticed Pam wearing sensible shoes because of swelling ankles, and Dwight said that he keeps hearing Pam humming a lullaby at her desk. I know they were trying to be careful, but I guess Jim wrapped the wrong thing in Jello this time.......

squishtliz: I heard that Jim is totally okay with Mose and Pam, as they had hoped their child would be considered barter payment (the child would be an indentured servent-working to pay off wedding butter and trench digging fees as well as all the beets it consumes) to hold their wedding at Schrute Farms (so exclusive!); Jim's seed was deemed to have slow reflexes and insufficient wilderness skills to be considered valid payment.

beachinbrunette: So apparently Angela, despite her better judgement, has decided to become Pam's midwife. And, she's designing Pam's 'delivery stable' in the Schrute Farms barn to look exactly like a manger. This is allllllll falling in place perfectly for her plans of a live nativity scene this Christmas! For tickets, contact Mose at (570) YES-BEETS. When we asked Pam and Jim whether or not they'll take Dwight's advice and name the child 'Dwighde Schrude Halpert', their response was 'no comment'.

defy1nggravity: Actually, it turns out Pam didn't want a baby with floppy hair, so they're using Mose as a sperm donor. Dwight wanted his children to have cousins so that they wouldn't have to dirty the Schrute gene line. Jim and Pam are now getting beets at a 74% discount for life.


dabaum: You all heard it wrong! Pam IS pregnant. Jim IS the father. What you don't know is that they got pregnant on purpose so that they could give the baby to Michael as his Christmas present. They are both hoping to get iPods in return. An iPod is infinitely better than a baby, and two iPods are twice the fun! Michael has already started painting the second bedroom Robin Egg Blue and plans on naming HIS baby Prince Michael. He's registered at Babies 'R Us. Gifts are welcome.

Razor44: I heard she's having twins with different fathers (it just happened in Texas or somewhere, my sister's cousin's teacher's son is the one of the fathers) so Mose and Jim are the "two ships passing in the night" but you'll know which one is Jim's because the baby will always be looking at the camera and shrugging while grinning and Mose's will have facial hair and smell of manure of the non-store bought variety.

JuliaHalpertSwift: Well, I can say that when Jim and I divorced beause his little fishy wouldn't swim upstreat...if you get what I mean. And furthermore...I heard a few days ago that Pam had finally taken up Andy's offer of throwing a disc around while speaking pig latin. You know...anything can happen while playing frisbee and having a ukulele play in the background.


J Crew

MSU05Grad: After being forcefully removed from J. Crew for behavior unbecoming, as part of the next boy band
"Hard Bods" this person completely leg go of all healthy lifestyle functions. A life that seemed so promising ended with a dull, meaningless existence working in a paper company, trying to continue in music, while being falsely thought of as "special" from a previous co-worker and falling into a life of gambling. Abercrombie is talking about a possible "in the workplace" line and a comeback.

EvilCatbert: Like any model, this person enjoyed the fast life. "Live Fast and Die Young" was their motto and they almost lived up to it until "THE ACCIDENT" No longer able to coordinate outfits or complete thoughts, the person was left to make their way as a paper salesman just outside the city they once loved.

dethomit: He was so humiliated, that he changed his name and move to Pennsylvania, where he started working at a not so well-known paper company. He still feels connections to his past, though, so to make him feel like he did when he worked for J Crew, he came up with a couple of phrases that remind himself of J Crew without anyone the wiser. Sayings like "I graduated at the top of my class" or "Beer me that CD" are a grim reminder of where he came from.

sailorjane: Dwight, a humble beet farmer from Pennsylvania, was recruited when a J. Crew executive's car broke down on the road near the farm, and needed mechanical help. Dwight, ever vigilant, impressed the executive with his knowledge of cars and his striking facial bone structure. Dwight, convinced that he would actually be spying on fashionable communists, agreed, but when he discovered that there was no one to report his findings to, he left the modeling world to be a volunteer sheriff and salesman.


Angela

SabresCullen: Unfortunately this new love affair hit a bump in the road when Angela, looking for some frozen French Fries, opens Branson's freezer to find nothing but cans of Fancy Feast. Suddenly Angela begins having flashbacks and accuses her billionaire boy toy of stocking his freezer with the kitty cuisine in an effort to lure her precious babies to their untimely deaths!

Siria_Maruski: Never one to let sentiment get in the way of what she really wants, Angela quickly narrows the field down to Buffet or Branson--the men who could afford not only to create a kitty heaven on earth for her, but also to keep her cat-grooming compulsions out of the media.And with two sugar-daddies on the line, she decides to bide her time. Buffet, nervous but more determined to win Angela's righteous little heart, commissions marble statues of Angela, himself, and all the cats...


incalculcable_1: Unfortunately Branson's effort to prove his love goes awry when Angela's congregation of cats mistake the mold for an evil Sprinkles twin and claw away at the mold until it's a clumpy mess of shredded silicone and Sprinkles fur.

PB: Angela confronts Branson with the mold. He was saving it as a birthday present for her. She is so won over by his token of affection that she kisses him madly. Later that week Branson's wife finds white hairs stuck to the frozen steaks in the freezer and confronts him. He denies the whole thing of course, blaming it on the grocery bagger who was shedding like dog in spring. The wife, disgusted, phones the local grocery to to complain about the bagger.


Kevin

eciffo: In an effort to be taken seriously, the little M&M painter man took up residence inside Kevin. As a little M&M painter man, he was so small that people didn't pay attention to him, especially the ladies. By living within Kevin and controlling his every thought and action, the little M&M painter man is now able to look at, talk to, and even touch girls.

mikethebat: The little man sometimes takes a cigarette break, so that smoke you see coming out of Kevin's ears isn't from him thinking hard afterall.

kiwittu: But we have no way of knowing if the entry hatch is underneath his chin, for his body has a defense mechanism that which wards off potential "enemies" (this explains the lack of "intimacy" Robot Kevin has experienced in the last decade or so).

LeXmas: M&M's were actually invented by the mini personanauts who have crafted mobile humanoids and function as a muscle relaxant to these tiny creatures which helps them get through a day at the office but side effects include laziness and absentmindedness.

Marvin_D_Martian: Take it from me, the M&M's and junk food are fuel. The music is passing information to "the others". Kevin looks the way he does because the little man is sensitive to our sun's radiation and it takes A LOT of insulation to protect him. Kevin sleeps in the warehouse behind of pallet of 30 pound bond. The little man uses the microwave in the break room to warm up the M&M's and doesn't clean it. Trust me for I am not of this world, perhaps I've said too much. Live limitless and thrive, Earthlings.

Vernin: He's a computer, but he's on windows, so that's why he not smart, the little man has to reboot him like 9 times a day.

Sheffeazy: Oscar and Kevin's evil plan is that once they take over the world, they will turn everyone into accountants, the dullest job ever, thus making the world void of creativity and happiness and turning everyone into shy little rags, too afraid of rebellion to do anything about their evil dictators.

DntPanic42 : Kevin may seem a bit slow but, that is because he has not upgraded his system for some time now.

Lil_Kid_Luvr: Let's disspell these rumors. The real access to Kevin's control panel is protected with a spinning combination lock disguised as his belly button. Upon entering the correct code, Kevin's jaw unhinges like a rattlesnake and the little man repels down a series of M&M cliffs to the mothership that is Kevin's colon.

TanookiDwight: And if they decide that we will live, the alien who controlled 'Kevin,' named Mgybbostrud Mrratdnwov, or simply M&M to his friends, will return to his home planet, Tyuobretnn 6, where the real Kevin Malone been spending his life since being switched at birth, being genetically modified to have an IQ of around 7,000 or so, being taught all the wonders of their civilization, so that when he returns to Earth he can guide us to a new age of peace, prosperity, and unbelievably delicious jelly donuts.

karisareed: They say his body was invaded after visiting the theme park last month and ever since then he has been acting quite strangely, talking to himself (more regularly than usual), he wears a bathrobe instead of his regular jacket, he will only eat bon-bons and yogurt dipped pretzels, and several times a day I hear him shouting in his office about how that damn fly got into his ear canal. Earlier as I passed his office he was banging his head off the wall and yelling, "how do you like me now?" help!

bobuerto: But wait, it gets even weirder-- I also heard that inside the little man who controls Kevin is an even SMALLER man who controls HIM, and then there's an even TINIER guy inside that guy-- it's basically just little men with joysticks all the way down.


Creed

Prometheus3737: I heard Creed got asthma when he got shot in the neck by a blow dart when he was trying to teach South American natives how to do the Charleston in exchange for drugs.

CM - Creed developed asthma in the 1960s when he was touring East Berlin with his boyband- the SpacedMen. After spending a wild weekend popping LSD with many people he's forgotten about, he made the mistake of trying to replace the bong water with his manager Deiter's bicycle brake fluid. He couldn't ever smoke a cigarette and ride a bike at the same time after that.

Willamina: I heard that Creed's asthma stems from his love for mung beans...when he has to stretch the last of his beans before his paycheck comes in, they develop a rare mold that causes asthma and temporary blindness...the blindness goes away, but unfortunately his asthma is here to stay...poor Creed...we should definitely have a run in his honor...we should call it the AFMRATBUOOH-Run: awareness for mung related asthma and temporary blindness usually occurring in old hippies!

Pirata72: Funny... I was told that his asthma developed after all of those years serving as a foreman in a textile factory specializing in tie-dye shirts for sale at Grateful Dead concerts...

carebear13178: But really, it all started when he was younger. Creed believed that if he managed to submit his lungs to increasing pressure and toxins that they would eventually build a resistance and he would one day be able to S.C.U.B.A. without a tank. As it turns out, the combination of marijuana smoke, car exhaust, and Aqua Net can really damage the lungs. On the plus side, the inhaler can easily be converted for other purposes.


Kelly

Lexie: I got word that Kelly watched Slumdog Millionair after the performance at the Dunder Mifflin picnic and hopes that if she gets thin enough that the casting director will find her myspace page and be a huge star. She has already started thinking of what to say to her new Hollywood friends by reading every gossip magazine to learn there likes and dislikes.

DunderheadMifflin: Kelly's been buying vegan ice cream for the past 3 and a half weeks and is surprised that vegan tastes like chocolate chip. I mean, like, what kind of awesome fruit and/or vegetable is a vegan. They must be very sweet and tasty. Like Ryan; he's tasty, but not as tasty as Darryl. Speaking of tasty, she found these shoes that have leather straps but to keep with her diet she is looking to buy a nice hot pair of red ones with vegan straps. They're good for the environment too, but whatever.

Sycamore: I got an email from a friend who said she got this email from Kelly: "OMG! IDK what I'm going 2 do. I got out of my car 2day & the sun was shining & I noticed my shadow was bigger & I was like 'OMG! I'm fat!' & not in the good way. I needed advice so I turned 2 a spiritual advisor (I heard PINK uses one) & he said I needed 2 get rid of the excess in my life that was weighing me down & I was like 'I know, right?' so I threw all my food out & went on a gum diet. I've lost 3lbs!"


Andy

christinagiaimo: Only a gay man would be more obsessed with his wedding to the point of being willing to spend thousands on non-refundable deposits than a woman.

beetsplease: I heard that Andy got upset with Meredith when he found out she was sleeping with the Supply guy for a discount and Outback Steakhouse coupons...apparently he had been sleeping with him first, but got coupons for a dollar off appetizers at poor richards, and was pretty upset that she got Outback. Poor Andy...confused about his sexuality, sleeping with supply managers, jealous of Meredith...

RRR160: If Andy isn't gay, why does he sing accapella. ROASTED. He say that "every little boy fantisises about his fairy-tale wedding". ROASTED. he wears pink. ROASTED. He drinks tea. ROASTED. and for his wedding with angela, how does he possibly know where to find the best tent-ist on the west coast?!
BOOM, ROASTED!

jennatastic: Not only did I faintly hear Cher's "Do You Believe" coming from Andy's car during my lunch break, but I also spotted a pair of hot pants and a half shirt in his back seat.

egoodson: It became obvious that Andy was gay after Here Comes Treble did their salute to the Village People and Andy demanded to be the Indian guy. He also demanded that the loin cloth be strictly authentic leading to an unfortunate "wardrobe malfunction" causing them to be banned forever from the Shady Pines Rest Home Entertainment Gala.

twofortuesdays: After all, the evidence is crystal clear: Andy wanted to assist in finding a male flasher, he's familiar with the Indigo Girls musical catalog, he worked for Abercrombie & Fitch, he was way more of a Bridezilla than Angela, he's got a pet name for Jim, and most importantly, he's Scranton's resident "B0ner Champ." On a scale of 1 to 10, that's pretty gay!

BeerMe: And I have the no-doubt proof, because I saw him and his new hush-hush boyfriend, Daniel Craig, also known as 007, James Bond, discussing the subject of their surrogate baby mama, Condoleeza Rice gettin' it on in the Scranton Waffle House mens room with Frodo Baggins of the Shire and Laurence Fishburn, and they all had the swine flu, and I know cause I saw them sneezing all over the $10 velvet painting of the Baby Jesus that they stole from the Metropolitan Museum of Art's German Cheese Exhibit

Matt41272: He had done a fairly good job hiding it. I mean, other than the show tunes, turtle necks, obvious affinity toward Michael, and bursting into song randomly. He was outed when Jim and Pam were caught in traffic due to the Scranton pride parade. Andy came bouncing along wearing his rainbow shirt and only a matching thong. He danced directly in front of Jim and Pam and as he spun around he caught Jim's eye and you could see the fear. Poor guy. He knew at that moment he was caught. There goes treble.

RokkinRobin: While being sexually ambiguous for years, being with Angela left him wanting something more. He has realized that what he shared with Broccoli Rob was not just "college experimentation", but the real thing. They have been exchanging emails planning their reunion. Their plan is to make a modern day band and do covers of Barry Manilow and Air Supply tunes. How hot is that?


Oscar

tarden: His father was the voice of both Speedy Gonzales and Slowpoke Rodriguez and taught the vocal craft to his son at a very early age. Oscar has had limited exposure on the show ¡Mucha Lucha! (that's what she said!) doing voices for some background characters.

Nick123: Oscar is now working on his next commercial as the Taco Bell dog, in this particular commercial, The Taco Bell Dog is greeting the customers, he tells the the customers that the person that buys the most tacos this month at that particular store, will get a chance to do an activity. Kevin eats the most tacos and asks the asks the dog, to go see his band, Scrantonicity 2, preform at Poor Richards. The dog is really sad, and says: No me he divertido tanto desde los años setenta.

leapdaybride: Since the death of the Taco Bell chihuahua mere months ago, Oscar has fallen into a deepening depression. The loss of his second job in voiceover work has left a hole in his wallet, forcing him to consider a new career as a counselor for insecure heterosexual men.

susanab: In a moment of canine clarity, Oscar remembers that the chihuahua is the smallest breed of dog in the world and perhaps, just perhaps, the death of that undersized, annoying packrat will set him free to give vocal life to a larger breed of dog and Oscar starts to feel his inner Great Dane.


Dwight

dwigela: I heard that Dwight was trying to sell the store-bought manure to neighboring farms and pass it off as his own. He mixed in chemicals so their crops wouldn't grow. That way, he cuts down the competition. Beet farming is a very intense and cut-throat business.

icegrrl: Well, Michael told me not only is Dwight dodging Geraldo Rivera camping out in the parking lot trying to get an "ambush" interview with Dwight about the mysterious chemicals in his "Shrutetastic Premium Manure Blend", he's also got PETA on his case about Bearcus USA! He also said Dwight is thinking of living in disguise to dodge the unwanted media attention, possibly as Meredith's long lost cousin, Hildegard. He said as soon as Dwight finds a wig made of beet fibers, it's a go!

meaghafan: You can tell the high quality through the texture...and slightly through the taste.

MizSchrute: Mose showed an interest in Esther, daughter of Ezekiel, who owns nearby Brenneman Gardens. Dwight's had his eye on that property since he was nine. Dwight approached Ezekiel about a union of their families. Ezekiel is open to the idea and agrees to exclusively sell Schrute Manure at Brenneman Gardens. Dwight sends Mose to the shop biweekly to buy a bag. He kills three birds with one stone, which is more than Jim; boosting sales, mentoring Mose, and prepping a takeover of Brenneman Garden's.

castingguy2005: Dwight had his cousin Moses, (in disguise of course), buy the manure because Dwight was embarrassed by the fact he was unable to harvest it himself, one thing that he was unable to master as a child. It is a long held tradition of the Schrute clan, steeped (pun intended) in mystery, that each child learn the skill of harvesting manure from cloven hoof animals.

Double_Haul: But Schrute Farms had a secret. A few generations ago, Dwide Schrute would not allow "homemade" manure on his farm after a bizzare beet bed methane extraction experiment went terribly wrong resulting in an explosion which singed his nasal hairs cheating him of his sense of smell at such a young age. Homemade manure has been banned by Schrute farms and if you listen hard on a quiet fall nite you can hear the ghost of Dwide desperately smelling for one final woft of pickling juice to no avail.

ShoeLaLa: Dwight does not use store bought manure because the Schrude family discovered early on that store bought manure causes a birth defect of low cheek bones.

MacSquiz: With all the tax incentives for bio-gas and methane cogeneration, Dwight couldn't resist the temptation to cash in on Shrute Farms' supply of manure. Through a series of loopholes, kickbacks and futures trading, Dwight gets a three-to-one return on his manure, purchases store bought manure, reinvests it through the same scheme, and continues the cycle. He would be a rich man by now, but for the skyrocketing cost of genetically engineered beet seed.

ellardsimms: Fact: Store bought manure produces a beet crop that is smaller, more sour, foul smelling and less virile than one produced with farmer-extracted manure. Fact: Schrute beets are enormous. They have a sweet taste remiscient of summer lemons from Argentina. Their fragrance can be extracted and made into a robust and manly cologne. Fact: the Schrute line owes its existance to 1) superior genetic material 2) a life of physical and mental
training from birth and 3) Schrute beets.


Phyllis

TraceyZO: The fridge is filled with a variety of objects. Each shelf is stacked with a collection of treasures including a Dundie, labeled Bushiest Beaver, several half-filled bottles of perfume from the metropolitan Orlando area, and spools of thick yarn, suitable for knitting a pot-holder or two. Phyllis is heart broken over the loss of her treasures, but is pleased with the profits she is receiving through her E-bay sales. Oddly, one buyer, "Beet"lestar Galactica, has purchased most all of the items.

hanvan18: Her favorite collections include shot glasses from each National Park, multicolored afghans, 2 of every Readers Digest printed since April of 1979, and of course the complete VHS collection of MacGyver.

Cari27: She actually has Bob Vance from Vance Refridgeration give her all the unsold/discontinued fridges where she hoardes bits of string and cardboard. They had to build a second garage just to hold the extra appliances. At night, she sorts the string by color.....naked. If you listen closely, you can hear her singing quietly to herself "My favorite things" from Sound of Music.

Lina_Tere: Behind her dressing room closet, she has her most precious collection of all... hundreds of 50 year old twinkies. She is hoping to prove once and for all that twinkies never go bad. If she can do this, she will become rich and famous, doing media tours of morning talk shows. She has even starting to write a book about her experience.

serfmonkey: In fact, I heard that Phyllis has actually crafted bronze, gold, and silver medals out of aluminum foil and old toaster parts for the day when it becomes "official" -- and is now storing the medals in a filing cabinet along with an old hamster wheel, a rubber band ball, a piece of gravel from the "Garden of Gethsemane," and a business card from "Oliver Findlesmink, Stapler Supply Salesman."


Toby

shakymon: That was how he met Pam -- that dear, sweet angel. It was love at first sight. Oh, how he adored her. Just the thought of her gentle smile, her melodic voice, or her honeyed scent made his heart dance with joy.But Pam was engaged to Roy. Roy was a real man, the kind Toby could never be. As much as this pained him, Toby had to accept the fact that Pam would never be his. Then one day he heard the news. The engagement was off! Surely, this was a sign from heaven above! But along came Halpert.

JustCallMeBam: Yeah, I heard it originally was because of insecurities and anxiety about his abilities, but then the movie 40 Year Old Virgin and the Jonas Brothers made being a virgin cool, so now he wears hisvirginity as a badge of honor, the same way he has embraced wearing blue with khaki now that he learned that
was good, too - he thinks his virginity, his style, and his vivacious personality make him a chick magnet - the dude is truly delusional.

princessroach: If you're asleep after 2 glasses of wine and a benedryl, it doesn't count.

beccak: Toby's "daughter" is really a local Scranton actress who he hired for the day. She is famous in the local community theater. I am surprised no one else recognized her from her brilliant portrayal of orphan #13 in Annie.

Tullie: I heard that every year on Sasha Eve Toby goes to the stable down the street and waits for the Star of Lackawanna to guide people there so they can give Sasha precious gifts from deep within the Archbald Pothole.

creedlicious: I heard from my cousin's barber's acupuncturist that Toby ages backwards through time like Merlin the Magician, and although in the past to us he had a daughter with his ex-wife, to him that hasn't happened yet, and since he never had sex again after his divorce, according to how he perceives time, he's still a virgin.


Erin

SmokeythePirateKitty: After Andy lost to her in Warcraft, he vowed revenge. He tried sabotaging her by sending Jim in to give her pointers, but that didn't work. So Andy's been giving her tasks and then telling her she did it all wrong and making her redo it. But every time he's berating her, Michael comes by and thinks she's doing a horrible job. Pam had a hard enough time keeping her job by stroking Michael's ego. Erin is too timid for that so Michael has no incentive to keep her. I also hear she doesn't keep candy

Carmen: As we all know the candy is what kept people coming to the desk where Pam would then get all the office tidbits and know how to deal with Michael. Without this enticement Erin is at a loss and hence is unable to properly evade and respond to all of Michael's movie trivia questions and quotes.

psp: All of these rumors of indiscretions are a cover for her real assignment which is.......A spy for Charles Miner, who plans to infiltrate the office later this year.

sirveaux: When Erin got in to drug trafficking, she thought that it would be a one-time thing. Little did she know that it would lead her to the sordid affairs that she has been dealing with daily. Does it pay to get involved in such affairs? Her Kindergarten Teacher would be appalled if she knew what her favorite little Erin has become. An infiltrating, drug trafficking, "office mattress" whose only escape from the real world is World of Warcraft since Dwight fired her in Second, Second Life as well.

lumberjill: That's because her ebay user name was "SellDMScrantonSuppliesForCheap", and Dwight ended up purchasing 30,000 manila folders as part of the mandatory whistleblowing clause in his contract.

Keller: ....She will move on, return to the CIA and get de-briefed. She learned much more about Creed than they had ever hoped for. In two weeks she will forget she was ever there, but will have a strange attraction to magicians......

BelongaJ: She's the one Michael started calling "Not as good Kelly as Kelly/Not as good receptionist as Pam" or NASKAK/NAGRAP for short.


Meredith

allysoy: When Erin first saw Meredith riding piggyback on Elizabeth Taylor to work, she thought "OMG! Even though I have been told for years that my mother passed away in a freak sombrero hat suffocation incident, that MUST be my mother; the way that we carry ourselves in piggyback fashion is exact!"

LASeubert: Meredith's habit of trading "favors" for office supplies dates back to the early 80's; one fateful night in the back of a panel truck - Duran Duran's "Hungry Like the Wolf" playing on the radio - Meredith's tryst with a PaperMate driver netted her 10 cases of EraserMates and, nine months later, a bouncing baby girl that she called "Penny" and immediately gave up for adoption.

daisy38: She decided she couldn't wait untill after work to make the call. Her hands were trembling as she picked up the phone. Suddenly Michael appears at her desk and whispers "OLC is really a man, and he is my father...I think I've said too much. Mum's the word" She hangs up the phone. "Mum"??? Did he know what she was about to do? No, he couldn't possibly.

melissa7979: During the disco craze in the late 70s, Meredith and Creed had a one night stand after a drunken night resulting in Meredith becoming pregnant. Meredith was forced to choose between the disco and partying or becoming a single mom as Creed was an "entrepreneur" and had business to attend to out of PA...she chose her partying ways decided to sell the baby to help pay for her life long dream of going to Studio 54..and that's a whole other story,,,

SoCalRocket: It was the Summer of 1984... during the Olympics in Los Angeles. After winning the gold medal in diving, Greg Louganis went out for drinks and met Meredith at the nightclub. Their wild tryst that evening set off a chain reaction of events that would change the world... Louganis immediately swore off women for the rest of his life, Meredith moved to Germany and had her child, Erin... Five years later, Meredith has another tryst with a man, who in his stupor begins to tear down the Berlin Wall.

thecrazymancreed: Three years ago, Erin, on a quest to find out who her mother is, received a tip from a scranton Volunteer Deputy Sheriff named D. Schrute; after weeks of being asked out by a relative of Deputy Schrute going by the name of Mose, desperate for answers Erin offers to do anything to find out who her mother is--deputy Schrute tells Erin that he will tell her who her mother is only if she takes Pam's old job at the office and gives all new costumers to him for one year.

[leftnwrite08]

Thanks for the update! And congrats to fatburgher

[Trevor_H]

good job guys, those were all really funny

[leftnwrite08]

Now that the winners have officially been announced, may I step in as the grammar police? Haha, because unless I misunderstood the rules said the entry had to be one sentence:

Submit your sentence so that it makes sense with everything that has come before it. You may only submit ONE sentence.

(then again, the rules also stated the top prize would go to the "most creative sentenced entered" ... either it was just a silly added "d," or they meant to say "sentences" to suggest the winning entry could be more than one sentence, despite the contradiction to the earlier stated one-sentence rule???)

Out of the 83 winners selected, only 28 were actually one sentence (the most creative way around it I saw was the use of a series of ellipses to break up several sentences, lol! So I've got to extend an extra congratulations to the winners from the "Kevin" story line, who had the most single-sentence entries overall among the selected winners!

[dabaum]

Congrats to fatburgher! And, wow, what a nice surprise to be one of the winners! I feel honored since they are all very good! Great job all!

[adimike55]

Despite the extra sentences, great work!

[Bubs]

I was wondering why the ONE sentence rule went out the window. Sucks for those that followed the rules.